This story is based in reality, with a fair amount of fantasy thrown in. Like my other stories. I am thinking of doing some sequels. I would love to have some feedback!
*****
“We need to talk.” That was all he wrote. Abigail received the email around 2:00 in the afternoon after she returned from her 1:00 seminar class. Dr. Abigail Saunders was a distinguished history professor and had been at this University for her entire career, having accepted an appointment as an Assistant Professor around 25 years ago. Now she was a distinguished full professor. Getting there had not been easy. But 25 years was a milestone for her personally as well. Abi and her husband Greg had gotten married that summer before they both started their new jobs at the university. She met Greg in high school actually but it was in grad school where they had really fallen for each other. But now he had become the chair of her department, and consequently her boss. That was awkward. This email was from him. She looked at it with annoyance and anger. “What the hell is this all about?” She said aloud. “Talk about what, damn it!” She figured it would not be about university stuff, after all he had the annoying practice of sending her orders when it was about university matters. This was about their marriage.
Or non-marriage, as it were. Despite their 25 years their marriage was in trouble. They had only the bare threads of a friendship left, not to mention no passion or intimacy. Greg had been so supportive, and so sexually creative, passionate, giving and dominant at first. He had been everything that Abi craved and loved. For 15 years they had, what Abi thought, was a perfect marriage. They had 4 wonderful children together and they had maintained their passion and creativity through it all. Greg and Abi were open and on occasion this openness extended to special friends. Greg had even introduced his wife to AOL, giving her one of those free disks one Christmas which led to Abi discovering online sex in the 90’s. And Greg had participated with her in some unique and rather kinky ways. It had been so much fun. They had had some wonderfully sensual and exciting adventures together.
But something had happened. Greg’s mother died about 10 years ago and suddenly he changed. His grief and loss turned pathological and he withdrew from the family, from their friends and especially from his wife, Abigail. She had tried to be present, to be understanding, to be patient, but nothing worked. He became demanding, demeaning and sometimes plain cruel, bringing her to tears more than once with verbal abuse. He even started talking about her behind her back to the point where the Dean, Dr. Margaret Copley, had to intervene and tell him to knock it off, that it was unprofessional and unbecoming and would not be tolerated. This only helped at work, at home it made things worse. The children noticed and distanced themselves from him as well. There had been some major fights, and through it all, despite the typical strains that mothers have with their teenage children, especially daughter, Abi was hearted to see her kids start to stand up to him on her behalf.
For her part, Abi took refuge in her work, agreeing to participate in a couple major research projects that would require extensive travel. When Greg, as her department chair refused to support her, she went over his head to Dr. Copley who approved her leaves and grant requests enthusiastically. This had only worsened their relationship. She also took refuge in her online life that had started with Greg. She created a new screen name, that he didn’t know and spent hours developing her online personality. In fact, she became obsessed with “Karen.” Abi poured all of her loneliness and sexual frustration into “Karen” who became the sexual submissive slut Abigail was deep down and had been with Greg before. In the guise of her new personality she chatted, she role-played, she posted naked photos (with no face of course), she even cammed.
The only thing she didn’t do was meet people for real, despite the myriad numbers of offers. Greg knew this was going on. He would interrupt her and when she opened her locked office door he would always make a face like he was smelling a dead rat. She knew it was her sexual desire he was smelling. She was also not shy about wandering through the house naked, even when the kids where home. They didn’t mind but Greg, who had always loved it before, now became judgmental and harsh, calling attention to her body flaws like her saggy boobs and ass and her hairy pussy and thick thighs. She tried to ignore this, but it hurt her deeply when he said things like this to her and she just immersed herself even more deeply in her escapes.
Of course, time moves on and now there was no more AOL since they had discontinued chat. Abi had subsequently moved on to other sites as well. It took a lot of her time, in fact very often she spent all of her home time locked in her study. She would come home, grab something simple from the fridge, head up to her study, strip off her clothes and log in. She even played iskenderun escort at work, but not often, only if she was in the middle of something she wanted to stay on top of. But over the years she had played at work too, in ways that might have gotten her in trouble had she been caught. The fact was, she had a hard time balancing her professional life with her online life. And it had all started with Greg’s shutting her out of his life.
And now this cryptic message, “He wants to talk with me, finally after 10 years.” She typed a response, “Whatever! I’ll be home around 7:00 tonight. It can wait until then.” She hit send. She waited, and doubled checked as she continued her work. No response. “Fine!”
Around 6:30 she checked again. Nothing! She closed down her laptop and packed up her things and turned out the light in her office and headed home. As she walked across campus in the dusk she paused and looked at her building, the building where both she and Greg had their offices. She felt a wave of sadness followed by a wave of fear and suddenly felt like she was going to cry. But she took a deep breath and continued her walk to her car and then drove home.
She pulled her little Fiat into the garage and turned off the car and closed the door. She sat in the darkness for a bit. “Why does life have to be like this? Why am I scared to go in?” She took another deep breath, left her computer in the car and walked through the kitchen and straight into the living room. Greg was sitting in “his chair” reading when she walked in. She stopped and stood and looked at him. He had changed from his professional attire to slacks and a shirt. Abi was still dressed from school, wearing her customary suit with a pair of slacks and a light sweater, over it she had her long light autumn jacket. She stood in silence for about 5 minutes with Greg never acknowledging her presence. “I thought you wanted to talk,” she said coldly. He put down his book and looked at her. He had pain in his eyes. “Please sit down.” He said softly. She sat on the edge of the couch with her jacket on. “Maybe you might be more comfortable if you take off the jacket.” He said without emotion. Abi paused and then stood and removed it and draped it over the back of the couch. Even at the age of 48 she was a strikingly beautiful woman. Her 38d breasts filled out her sweater and she was still relatively sleek. In truth she had started to sag as she got older but her clothing did not reveal this.
“So, what is up?” She said as she sat down. Greg took a deep breath. “I don’t think this marriage is working for me.” Abi raised her eyebrows and felt the fear begin to be replaced by anger. “For you?” She repeated. “It hasn’t been working for a while. You are preoccupied with your work and your… play (he made it sound revolting) and have no time for this family at all.”
“Now, hold on a minute,” She was angry and she stood, “Who was it that withdrew from the family, who has been distant and completely unloving for 10 fucking years.”
“My mother died! It wasn’t my fault!”
“Shit!” Abi spat out. “I tried and I tried to reach out to you, to make myself available to you and you have treated me like shit! Like shit! You are mean and cruel to me and to the children. My work and play is the way I cope with living with you! So don’t give me any of your self-righteous crap!”
Greg paused, “Ok, there is no sense in reviewing all of this. Here is the bottom line. I think we should not be together anymore.”
Abi was stunned. Not surprised. He was right, they shouldn’t be together anymore, even their children felt that way. Abi sat and sighed fighting back her tears, “Ok, maybe you are right. I don’t suppose you want to go to get counseling to try to fix our marriage?”
“No, I don’t!” He answered forcefully, almost angrily at the suggestion.
“I’m only asking. So since you have come to this decision, how do you want this to proceed?”
“Well,” He shifted nervously. “You know we have a big house and you have the entire upstairs and I have the entire downstairs. There is no reason why you can’t continue to live here. Actually, I would kind of like it if you stayed.”
“Why, so I would continue to do the washing and the cleaning and the cooking for you? What a deal for me!”
“It is only a suggestion, I am trying to make this easier for you. Since, also, well… I need to tell you something else.”
Abi raised her eyebrows, “Go on!”
“Abi, I am gay and Mark is going to move in here with me.”
Abi’s mouth dropped open. She had suspected he was having relationships with guys. She didn’t really care after all she had had relationships with women and considered herself bi. She had kind of assumed Greg was bi also, but how could he say he was gay after 25 years of marriage and 4 children?” “Ah…” She let it sink in.
“When did you start thinking you were gay?” She said softly.
“I guess about 8 or 9 years ago. I started to go to gay websites and then to gay bars when you were out of town. Then I met görükle escort Mark and we, well we have fallen in love.”
“Congratulations!” She said that without any emotion.
“No need to be mean.”
“I’m not and don’t lecture me on being mean!” She stood, “So,” Trying to come to some understanding of what he had just told her, “All this time you have been emotionally distant to me it was because you were putting all of your emotional energy into this secret relationship.”
“You did the same thing.” He said defensively.
“No! No I didn’t! I tried and tried to reach out to you for years. I invited you to play with me like we used to. I invited you to play with me online. I tried every damn thing I could think of. Finally I gave up, weary from all the wasted effort, but I never expended a drop of emotional energy on my online play. It was all about the sex. I never had a secret loving relationship. It was you that I loved and you that I wanted to give myself to. I would have done anything for you. I would have given you my body and my soul.” A wave of tears swept over her, but she was resolved not to cry in front of him.
“All those times when I would go up to your study and open the door and it would smell and stink, you are telling me there was nothing going on. I know better, you were playing with yourself that is why is stunk so bad.”
“I am not going to defend myself to you. I never had a serious loving relationship with anyone but you. Did I masturbate out of loneliness and frustration? Yes I did. Sorry, the smell of my body offended you.”
“Well, that is just it.” He got up from his chair and walked over to her. “I don’t know how to describe this feeling that came over me. It was weird but I got so I just couldn’t stand your pussy. I hated the smell especially. I could even smell it when you were dressed at school. Your cunt, your vagina began to disgust me. I just could not stand the idea of being anywhere near your vagina.”
Abi stared at him with disgust for the first time, “What?”
“I loved you, but I’m sorry I don’t like your vagina! I don’t like your body! It turns me off, it repulses me. Why couldn’t you have used some product to make it smell nice? But no, you always smell like a can of rotting tuna fish.”
Abi turned red and backed up away from him. She reached over and grabbed her jacket. “I can’t believe you just said that to me!” My body is a part of who I am. My vagina is a part of who I am. How the hell can you say you love me, but are repulsed by my vagina? You bastard! And for the record, my vagina is perfectly normal and doesn’t need perfume or other weird stuff so you will like it better. That stuff is not healthy. God why am I even talking with you about this? How could you say that to me the mother of your children, who all came through my vagina, by the way!” Abi began to flail around the room, while Greg backed into a corner. “You have two sons and two daughters and guess what your daughters have vaginas too! Shall I warn them to stay away from you lest you be offended by your own daughters? Oh, and your beloved mother had one, in fact you began your entire miserable life by coming through one.” Abi let out a primal scream! “I cannot believe you said that! It is one thing to say you are gay, I don’t care about that. But to say you love me and hate my vagina… You know what that tells me about you? It tells me that you are incapable of seeing a woman as a whole human being. She is just a bunch of parts to you. Parts to smell and play with, parts to enjoy or to criticize and despise. For you a woman – me – I am not a whole human being.” Abi pulled on her jacket, “Have a nice life you bastard.” And with that she walked out of the living room towards the garage.
“Wait, where are you going.” He followed her.
“Not your concern. I am taking my stinky vagina away from you forever, asshole!” She slammed the door as she walked from the kitchen into the garage. She got into her car and opened the garage door.
Greg ran out into the driveway blocking her way. “You have completely misunderstood me, as usual.”
She jumped out of the car, “Shut the fuck up and get out of my way or so help me god I will run you over!” And with that she got back in her car and revved the engine. He moved out of the way.
Now what? It was almost 9:30 and she hadn’t eaten since lunch. She was still filled with rage and anger and deep hurt. She drove around town a bit and finally decided she would drive back to campus and go to the Union. There would be a little food in the cafeteria and, most importantly, there was coffee. She wasn’t sure she was hungry, but she knew should try to eat something. And then what? Where would she go tonight? Tomorrow? She felt like everything was falling part and her life was in ruins like the ones she studied in ancient Rome and Greece.
There were a few students milling around as she walked through campus. A few greeted her and she forced herself to smile and acknowledge them. She knew she did not want to take out her anger bursa escort and hurt on her innocent students. She walked into the Union and went into the cafeteria as her phone buzzed. It was Greg! She shut her phone off completely and went to see what was available. There were a few things to eat, mostly finger food and pretty picked over. But she got herself some pretzels and trail mix, a few vegetables and also she got herself a large cup of coffee, fully caffeinated, and sat in the far corner of the dining hall away from everyone. She pulled her coat around her, took a sip of her coffee and suddenly the dam broke and she burst into tears. She started to sob and sob and sob. She put her face in her hands and tried not to be too loud. She tried to control herself, nibbling a little on the food, but she simply couldn’t stop crying. Finally she put her head down on the table and just let herself cry and sob.
After a little while she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She looked up and through her tears she saw it was Emily Peterson, a Doctoral Fellow in the History department. Emily was a star, exceptionally smart and studious. She was a little punk in her attire and tastes, but she was also very driven having earned herself a Doctorate in Psychology before doing post-doctoral work in history. Abi had not had very much contact with besides meeting her a couple times at social gatherings. “Are you ok Dr. Saunders?” she said gently. Emily slipped into the chair next to her and pulled it up close. Abi tried to speak, but another wave of sobbing swept over her. Emily took her in her arms and held her as she cried rocking her gently and patting her back like a mother with a small child. Slowly, the intense emotion began to subside and she lifted her self up and began to fumble around in her purse for a Kleenex. Abi was trembling badly and her sight was clouded by the tears. Emily pulled a small packet out and handed it to her and put her hand over Abi’s. Abi took a deep breath and wiped her face then she whispered, “Let me go to the ladies room, I’ll be right back.” Emily nodded.
Abi went into the ladies room and into a stall. She opened her slacks and pulled them down and looked down at her pussy. “Greg hates you! He hates you! He thinks you are repulsive and stinky!” She ran her hand through her bush, “But I don’t! I love you.” She giggled and rubbed her hand over her mound and then sat and peed. Then she wiped herself, fastened her slacks, washed her hands and face and returned to the table.
Emily was still at her table. She was such a pretty young woman, petite, with dark short hair died with purple streaks. She wore glasses and he clothing was torn jeans and a t-shirt, no bra though she hardly needed one as she was very small. Over it all she wore a very used and obviously much beloved leather jacket. “I’m sorry,” Abi said as she approached the table.” Emily smiled, “For what? You don’t have to apologize to me. Do you want to talk about it? What happened?” Abi shook her head no, but then looked at the young woman and tears flooded her eyes again and she changed her head shaking from no to yes.
“Greg, Dr. Saunders, my husband told me he wants a separation.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok, it’s been coming for a long time. It is for the best. But he was so cruel and weird about it.”
“How so?” Emily said softly. Abi suddenly had a desire to let it all out.
“We can’t talk here. Would you come with me? I think I’d like to go to Battery Park down by the river and take a walk.”
“Is it open at night?”
“Yes, I go there often and it is open all night and usually pretty deserted.”
Emily smiled, “I’m game.”
Shortly they were outside walking towards Abi’s car. Emily walked close and held her hand and Abi began to recount the story of their relationship. It was like a dam had burst, aided by the fact that Dr. Emily Peterson was a licensed psychologist and knew exactly how to gently encourage her to share with jus the right questions. So, Abi recounted how she and Greg met when they were young, how sexual they were with each other even at the beginning, how open they were and became, how they had shared partners, how she knew that Greg was probably at least bi, but how she had no idea how he really felt about her. Then she told Emily the sad story of the last 10 years and how Abi had taken refuge in her research and online sex, even though she had an old friend, Cathy, who she had visited a couple times and with who she was intimate. Abi had never talked about any of this with anyone before. Emily was particularly interested in the revelation that Abi was an experience bi submissive and Emily confessed that she was a lesbian with dominant tendencies.
By this time they had arrived at the Park. It was indeed deserted. Abi parked the car and they got out and started to walk along the river. Abi then finished the story by recounting the argument / discussion she had had with her husband earlier in the evening. “You won’t believe what he told me. He told me first that he wanted me to continue to live in the house with him.” Emily looked at her and shook her head. “And then, get this, he told me he hated my vagina; oh, but he loved me. So I guess he wants me to live there but my vagina will have to move out!” Emily put her hand to her mouth and took in a sharp surprised breath. “He actually told you that?”
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