Author’s Note:
This is a slow burn. I know I say that at the start of all my stories, but it’s especially true here.
Inspiration for the core theme of this story came from the Chosen Family Podcast. They didn’t invent the concept or coin the term, but their show is great, and their dynamic made me want to explore it more. That sent me down a rabbit hole that finally led to this story. That said, none of the characters here are intended to be reflections of Alayna, Mak or Ashley.
Huge thanks to TheNyxianLily for insightful feedback and suggestions, to 29wordsforsnow for feedback and much needed proofreading, and to Jane for introducing me to the Chosen Family Podcast and starting this entire thing rolling.
——————-
Rose
Rose reached, found the hold, swung her leg up to where her hand had been and transferred her weight, pulling herself up and settling back away from the wall to survey the next pitch. This was the hard part. An overhang of rock broke away from the wall, jutting outwards nearly horizontally for two solid meters before coming to a sharp edge and climbing upwards again. There was a nice looking crack in the rock on the underside, she’d probably be able to get a good grip on that, but she’d be hanging from the ceiling while trying to find the next hold around that corner.
Her heart beat faster, little tingling pinpricks of excitement sweeping over her skin in a rush that Rose welcomed like an old friend. After so much anticipation, with the spot so close, it was hard not to rush upwards. Deliberately, forcing herself to be careful, she clipped her rope into the anchor just beneath the overhang and balanced on her toes while rubbing more chalk onto her hands.
Off to her right, the soft hum of Olivia’s drone came in for a closer shot, and Rose flashed it a quick grin. So many people who commented on their videos thought she was some kind of fearless daredevil, eagerly rushing into situations like this – but they were wrong.
Inching her way up, shifting her center of gravity away from the wall and out into the open air as she navigated beneath the overhang, the fear that had been slowly building as she got farther from the ground rose and flooded through her. Her body’s instincts kicked in, trying to warn her how wrong it was to be dangling from a cliff face forty yards up, moving into a position where her legs couldn’t help supporting any of her weight anymore.
But far from shying away from it, Rose felt herself smiling wide – welcoming the fear and adrenaline surging into her. This was what she lived for.
She moved again, finding a grip in the crack and another along the side then lifting with her upper body and shifting with her core, bringing her legs up so she could push off the wall and swing them around the edge. The movement brought her body flush with the overhang, horizontal in space with her back to the ground.
Rose paused, savoring the anticipation. The more of these climbs she did together with her friends, the more she got used to dangling from high places like this. They claimed it made her do more extreme things to get the kick of adrenaline and fear she loved so much, but she preferred to think of it as empowering. Being able to do scary things she would have been far too frightened to even attempt a year or two ago.
Her excitement and eagerness both rose inside her to a fever pitch, until she finally gave in to them.
She leaned her head back, arched her back, and looked down.
It was disorienting – the ground appeared at the top of her vision like she’d fallen backwards, then flooded to fill everything. For just a flash, her body’s instinct thought she was falling, and absolute panic choked her. She forgot about her harness and ropes, forgot she still had the rock gripped in her hands with adrenaline-enhanced strength, all rational thought was drowned out by terrified sirens screaming DANGER! DANGER! through every bit of her.
Everything was all so small down there. The trees that had towered above them on the hike up now shifted in the breeze, waving green little branches up at her. The stream that had rushed loud beside the path was barely a distantly murmuring line of blue winding lazily away. Barely distinguishable at the base of the wall was a group clustered together. Hazel belaying her while Olivia, Ivy and Alexandra huddled close together, probably watching the drone camera. It all emphasized just how far, far up off the ground she was.
But a second passed, and they were still tiny. Not getting bigger – she wasn’t falling.
Just as suddenly as the fear had taken her over, Rose’s excitement blossomed and burst, then combined with the fear to form some kind of thrill cocktail of adrenaline and endorphins. It was absolutely amazing! The universe seemed to take on a sharpness that amplified everything – her heart beating in her chest hard enough to burst, the sweetness of the air filling her lungs, the warmth of the sun combining with a refreshing breeze along her gebze escort sweaty skin. The aching in her muscles, from her feet in their tight climbing shoes all the way to her forearms and fingers, which burned with the tight fatigue of constantly gripping and supporting her entire weight. The raw bite of the rock against her fingertips, skin scraped raw by the week out here despite her collection of hard won calluses. All of it seemed to come together inside her, pleasures and pains alike, to join the cocktail and add the rush, taking the thrill still higher.
Rose’s gaze went out over the upside-down forest, absorbing it all in all the way to the distant mountains on the horizon, and felt a sense of belonging. Like she was one with it all, and if she wanted to, she could soar off and explore wherever her heart took her.
Later, the video would show she’d only hung inverted, gazing into the distance for a few seconds. As many times as she experienced it, Rose could never believe that. It felt like she spent days reveling in the high of the thrill. The rest of the climb felt easy. Like her body had become immune to tiredness and would do whatever she wanted it to, and the physics of the world were but a triviality. She swung her legs around the lip of the overhang, balanced, braced herself, then let go with one hand and brought it around the edge too, flexing her fingertips into a hold and lifting her body around. A bit of maneuvering and some lifting later, and she sat on the overhang with her legs dangling down over the side.
Soft cheers made their way up from her friends down below, and Rose gave the drone an enthusiastic wave, grinning wide and flushing with success. No matter how many times she tried to explain it to them, or put it into words for one of their videos, it never came out right. Sometimes she made it sound like the most intense feeling of her life, other times it sounded like some kind of tranquil peace, and she had no idea how to articulate that it didn’t feel like a contradiction while it was happening. It was both, and whenever they complained she sounded crazy, Rose could only laugh and agree.
——————-
Olivia
“She’s insane,” Alexandra breathed over Olivia’s shoulder. “Can you get the view from her GoPro?”
“Yeah.” Olivia clicked around on her laptop, importing Rose’s GoPro as a view and synchronizing it up with the feed from the drone.
“Can you show both at the same time?” Hazel asked from over her other shoulder, and Olivia clicked a few more times so the drone’s view of Rose hanging from beneath the overhang showed on the right, while Rose’s point of view looking down was on the left.
“Like this?”
“Yeah,” Hazel said, then whistled appreciatively.
“She’s insane,” Alexandra repeated, loud enough this time to carry across the campfire.
“I’m right here, you know,” Rose called, trying to sound affronted but failing to hide her amusement.
Alex didn’t back down for a second. “You’re out of your goddamn mind!”
“You say that as if it’s news to you,” Olivia joked, earning a chuckle from Rose, Hazel and Ivy.
“Yeah!” Rose agreed. “And you also say it like you’d love me any other way.”
Alex huffed, but she didn’t try to deny it. “When I got up there, just thinking about trying to get around that overhang scared the shit out of me, never fucking mind looking down.” She pointed at the screen. “Just watching that is giving me vertigo! You’d tell us if you had a death wish, right?”
Olivia and Hazel shared a quick grin around Alex’s back, then quickly looked away before she noticed. Alex had gotten to the top fine, just like the rest of them, but she did so enjoy being theatric. And really, looking at the video, Olivia did feel the pit falling out from her stomach vicariously through Rose. It wasn’t just the heights – after years of climbing, they’d all had that fear mostly conditioned out of them. It was the backwards angle that was triggering. Going over backwards like that usually meant something had gone terribly wrong, and when the rope caught them and swung them back to the wall, they could hit head first.
“Of course I don’t have a death wish,” Rose laughed. “It’s just a bit of fun.”
“Oh, of course! Fun, right, why didn’t I think of that,” Alex grumbled, then left her perch beside Olivia and went for the cooler. “More wine? Liv? Hazel?”
“Yeah, thanks,” Olivia immediately jumped on the offer, holding out her glass with an eagerness that earned another round of laughs. “Oh, fuck off, all of you!”
Really, ‘glass’ was giving it too much credit. It was really a cheap metal camping mug with a flimsy fold-in handle that sacrificed all aesthetics for practicality, but after a week in the woods, anything containing chardonnay seemed like a golden chalice.
Not that she wasn’t enjoying herself or anything. She was! Sure, she’d been skeptical coming to New Hampshire yet again, but Cathedral Ledge had more than lived up to its reputation. It was gümüşhane escort beautiful, there was tons of hiking and canoeing for the days they weren’t climbing, and they’d managed to snag a campsite far away from any neighbors. The last of the day’s sun blossomed over the trees to paint the sky gold, with deep reds and bright oranges flaming across the clouds. Their fire crackled merrily, smelling delightfully smoky, while her favorite people chatted about nothing around it. What’s not to like?
Just… it would be nice to have a shower. A real one, with unlimited hot water and nobody nagging her to hurry up. Olivia shifted, uncomfortably aware of the layers of dirt, sweat, sunscreen and bug spray coating her skin, and not even wanting to think about her hair. One more night, then she’d have her wonderful shower tomorrow, and they’d all go to a party after that. Best to focus on that, and not the inevitable Monday morning return-to-work depression, when she’d wish with all her heart she were right back here, surrounded by her Chosen Family, no matter what they all smelled like.
She took a long sip of wine and let the dry taste linger in her mouth. Ahh – Sweet tranquility.
“Do you want a look before I turn this off?” Olivia asked Ivy, who was lounging in her camp chair with her back to the sunset to catch the light, her denim clad legs propped up by the fire and one of the five books she’d packed open in her lap.
Somehow, Ivy could always follow the conversation around her perfectly without her eyes ever slowing their progress down the page. “Nah, I’m good. I’ll watch it when you’re done editing.”
“Cool.” Olivia didn’t bother asking Rose, she wouldn’t want to see yet. The memory was still fresh for her, and she’d want to keep reliving it from her mind’s eye, without recreating it on a screen. Olivia closed and slid the laptop back into its bag, then repositioned her chair next to Rose and stretched back into it like Ivy was for maximum relaxation.
It barely lasted a full second. Alexandra pounced like she’d been eagerly waiting for the opening. Which, knowing her, she probably had been. “So, are you finally going to tell us?”
Fuuuuuck. “Tell you what?”
“Come on Liv! You know what!”
Yes, Alex, I know ex-fucking-xactly what you want to hear. Doesn’t the fact that I haven’t talked about it yet tell you anything? Anything at all?
Olivia sighed and resisted the urge to glare at Alex, half wishing she had it in her to say that, and half relieved she didn’t. “Drama queen,” she muttered.
Alex made big puppy-dog eyes, trying for an innocent look that made her friends laugh, and even Olivia crack a smile despite herself.
“You’ve got it wrong. Stick your lip out a little more,” Rose coached. “Not that much. Yeah, there. Now puff your cheeks out a bit. Great! Just like my students, now do the voice.”
Alex pitched her voice high, like a kid begging to stop at the ice cream truck. “You promised you’d tell us before we left! I’ve been good and waited, but–“
“Oh fine,” Olivia said, realizing she’d have to give her something or she’d keep nagging all night. And, in fairness, Alex really had held off pestering her longer than she usually did.
“Yay!”
“But only because you’re so desperate for gossip that you channeled one of Rose’s fucking imps.”
“Hey! Those kids are adorable.”
“They’re goddamn demon spawn, each and every single one of them.” Olivia glanced sidelong at Rose and grinned. “No offense.”
“I think, technically, you just called their parents devils and not the kids,” Rose observed. “And I have to admit, some of their parents do make my job harder.”
Wow. Coming from Rose, that was basically a declaration of absolute loathing.
“Come on, spill!” Alex pressed. “Amy isn’t really sick, is she? Did you get into a fight? Is that really why she bailed on coming?” Alex had sat forward in her chair, leaning in with her knees slightly apart in exactly the same way she did when she was resting popcorn on her lap watching some sappy romcom. The sight amused Olivia enough to overlook her using her love life the same way she treated all of theirs, including her own. Like a soap opera. Mostly overlook it, at least.
“It wasn’t really a fight,” Olivia told her enraptured audience. “We were cuddling, getting in the mood, and I guess I must have said something stupid, but I don’t know what,” she lied, then quickly continued. “Because she got all moody and withdrawn for an hour or two, then we watched a movie that was awkward as fuck, and she left promising she was fine and we’d talk later. When she finally called, it was just long enough to break up with me. That was literally the same day we left to come here. Talk about bullshit timing.”
A brief glance at Rose was all it took. Of course, her best friend saw through the deception at once, and far from seeing it as a breach of trust, she probably guessed why she’d done it. Hell, maybe she’d somehow known all week. izmir escort It wouldn’t be the first time she’d been psychic like that. For the rest of them, though, the idea that she’d unconsciously offended her girlfriend badly enough to end the relationship seemed plausible enough. Whatever that said about her.
Their reactions were all over the place.
A comforting hand on her arm from Rose.
“That’s awful! I’m so sorry,” from Hazel.
“What a bitch,” from Ivy.
And, “Dude, you suck at storytelling,” from Alex. “You gotta set the stage, then draw it out! You can’t just end it in three sentences.”
“Alex,” from Rose.
“Yeah?”
“Too much.”
“Oh.” Alex deflated a little. “Sorry.”
Olivia gave Rose a quick grateful look, and Hazel asked, “are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah, of course. I’ve been around you guys all week, it’s been great. Plus, liquid therapy.” Olivia took an appreciative sip of wine. “We’d only been dating for like a month anyway, not like we had this deep relationship. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Honestly, it’ll just suck going back to my vibrator again.” That was actually true. Amy had been fun, and they’d gotten along well, but she wasn’t about to lose any sleep over her.
It was just what she’d said while they were supposed to be cuddling that had her all messed up and confused.
Alex gave a laugh and Hazel and Ivy seemed satisfied that, if she was making masturbation jokes, she was probably okay. Fortunately, before they started wondering about the contradiction between Olivia’s upbeat front and her spending all week avoiding the subject, Rose helped her again by guiding the conversation away. “How about you, Hazel? Have you had any luck with Mary?”
“Thank you,” Olivia whispered softly to Rose, who smiled back warmly, sending a surge of warmth through her. Rose always had her back, always, and she loved her for it.
Hazel blushed and hung her head, like she was a student in Rose’s class who’d forgotten her homework. “No.”
Alexandra smirked. “She keeps getting nervous and backing out at the last second. It’s really cute.”
Hazel and Alex worked for the same company, but in different roles. Alex was a project manager who spent most of her time in meetings and managing timetables, while Hazel was a developer who kept her head down and attended as few meetings as she could get away with.
“There’s this guy she’s really friendly with! She keeps leaving with him every day at lunch. I think we were wrong. I think she’s straight and she’s got a boyfriend.”
Alex burst into a fit of laughter. “You mean Keith? Dark haired guy, works in my department, looks a lot like her and is little taller than me?”
“Yeah, that’s him,” Hazel agreed glumly.
“You idiot, Keith’s her brother! A fact you would know if you ever worked up the nerve to talk to her about anything less superficial than JIRA tickets and optimizing Java code.”
Hazel, once she got over the surprise that her crush still had hope, got a goofy grin. “But she’s so sexy when she’s optimizing Java code.”
Olivia and Alex both laughed, poking fun at Hazel for thinking tabs, correctly placed semicolons and matching brackets were sexy, at the same time as Rose smiled encouragingly. “You should take her to lunch. Something casual, just get to know her a bit better outside the office.”
“But what if she turns out straight,” Hazel worried.
“Then you’ll have made a friend out of somebody you like already,” Rose insisted, while Alex simultaneously said:
“She’s not.”
Hazel narrowed her eyes at her. “What makes you so sure?”
“You remember when I visited your floor end of last week?”
“Please tell me you didn’t push her up against a wall and make out with her.”
“Of course not!” Alex exclaimed, feigning indignance and pretending that wasn’t exactly the kind of thing she’d do. “I would never get in the way of your future wife.”
“Bet you were tempted, though,” Olivia teased her, and Alex shot her a wicked grin.
“You woulda been too. Hazel’s right, she is hot. She does this thing with her hair where she’s got it combed over and she curls back up on the side like this,” Alex demonstrated, tilting her head and quickly adjusting her hair beneath her hat, making eyes at Hazel as she did.
“That is a pretty gay look,” Ivy commented, glancing up from her book long enough to take it in.
“It’s not like that at all on Mary! Everything looks gay on Alex,” Hazel pointed out.
“She’s got a point there,” Olivia agreed. From her nose stud and septum ring to her old school wide brim hat pulled back to show the slit in her eyebrow, all the way down to her leather Jeffrey Campbell boots she’d changed into as soon as she got her hiking boots off despite them being on a fucking camping trip, Alex could only have managed to look gayer if she’d had a rainbow cape. “Love the new hat, by the way.”
“Thanks! I can get you one if you want.”
“You think it’d work on me?”
“Let’s find out,” Alex took it off and tossed it like a frisbee over the fire to her. Olivia quickly pulled out her phone and opened the camera to use as a mirror. Hmm… not bad. She pulled it down to one side, and tilted her head back, snapping a few pictures for later. Yep. Definitely a keeper.
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